I Hate Food

One of my BFF’s wrote recently on her blog about her “little secret.” Her secret turned out not to be what you might think–it wasn’t an affair, a wayward lifestyle, or a financial indiscretion.

No, it was that she allowed her two children to sleep in her king-sized bed with her on occasion.

I would confess that I share the same little secret!

I never turn my children away when they want to sleep with me. We are alone so often anyway that I figure, What the heck? If my son or daughter wants to crawl inside beside me and cuddle and snuggle, that is just fine. They won’t be little babies forever, and as long as they need Mommy, I am here.

But I have a secret of my own.

It’s the fact that I hate food and I cannot cook.

Pretty lame for a stay-at-home and often-solo mom, huh? George is our chef when he is home. When he is not home (which has been the case more often than not the last few years), the business of cooking, food, and the feeding of my children comes to me.

I love my children. I want them to be healthy, well nourished, and know they are loved through every possible means, including food. We’ve done okay so far…but we could do better.

I really do hate food. I became bulimic at the age of 15 and have struggled with it off and on my whole life. I wish we could just go through our days without food of any kind. Food is not fun for me. It is not something I look forward to planning or preparing or producing. I love it when George is home, for he does love food. He loves to cook, choose healthy meals, and he sees that our family is well fed.

But when George is gone, it becomes my duty. I do okay. I can make macaroni, salmon, and bake a few things. But my kids deserve better than that.

I wish I was the kind of mom and wife that I know so many of. They choose organic, they prepare homemade meals, they can their own fruits and vegetables.

Meanwhile, I struggle to open up a frozen bag of corn.

George will leave on May 1 and will be gone until at least September. My goal during the time he is gone is to relax around food, and to calmly plan and try prepare healthy meals for my babies and me.

A SAHM should really know how to cook, and to cook healthily for her family. I’m going to try, come heck or high water.


  1. You can do it! I have learned over the years and actually like it now! However, since recently going back to work outside of the home, it isn’t nearly as fun. A helpful hint…make a menu for a couple of weeks at time. Helps with the shopping and keeps you focused.

  2. This is good timing, because I just posted some quick easy seafood recipes!
    Honestly, I can’t relate to the hating food. I love to cook, but sometimes it just seems so impossible when Zed’s gone fishing and there’s no one to distract the kids while I make dinner. Plus, the kids rarely appreciate my cooking anyway, so I don’t want to spend time making something that they are just going to complain about… no easy solution I suppose. I just do what I have to do to stay sane!

  3. Hmm, ok I confess that I let Jacob in bed with me whenever he wants as well. Does it really hurt anything? I think not.

    I think one of the toughest relationships people have to manage is that with food. I’m definitely of the SAHM group that loves to cook and find sinful pleasure in farmer’s markets and specialty food stores. Cooking truly is my personal art form. However, that’s where my art ends. I try plenty of other hobbies or talents and find that I just don’t really have any. Cooking really is my gift.

    So, hmm, what’s my point here? We all have our strengths and downfalls. And we are all our biggest critic. I envy your talent for writing and your successes in your writing. I’d love to have a talent that is both recognized and rewarded. As women, I think we are so focused on our pitfalls, we lose sight of our accomplishments. A great SAHM is always pushing herself to be better and learn more and it sounds like you are doing just that. So congratulations on all that you do, Jen!

    And hey, maybe one day I will finally pull together the cookbook I have been working on for the last couple years and you can be my copy-writer. Then you can say you’ve co-authored a cookbook. Now, throw that in the face of your former non-foodie self! :)

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