I miss you all, and I miss posting on this blog! Never, in the eight years since I started this blog, has this much time passed without me posting something. You all know by now that our family has been in crisis for the past ten months. Still, I want you to know that my children are doing well, G is doing well, and I am doing well.
I was thinking this afternoon that in spite of the grief, I have never in my life felt less alone. I am so grateful to have friends and family around the country, state, in my own city, and online that have offered nothing but love and support for all of us, without judgment. It’s not constant, but it’s consistent. It’s exactly what I, and what we, all need to get through this.
The past two months have been good for all. The children finished school after participating in end-of-year drama performances and art shows, and toddler graduations from play group. Vincent was more excited than anyone to see school come to an end (except perhaps, me). We were all so excited to say goodbye to early mornings, homework, permission slips, drop offs and pick ups for the the next eight weeks! Hello to late, lazy mornings, afternoons at the pool, picnics with friends at the river and playing in the lake with neighbors.
I’ve experienced a lot of personal growth. I took a little trip out of town to see a dear friend in May and discovered that I was able to book a flight (and take it), rent a car (and drive it), reserve a hotel (and find it). All by myself. I’ve never done that before. I’ve made a lot of new friends, maintained contact with old friends, and have learned what it feels like to live in relative peace and freedom.
As I said to one of my friends today, I don’t like to tread water. I like to swim. I continue to swim forward with strength and resolve. We all have. It feels pretty good, to be honest. In spite of the grief that’s to be expected, I sleep well at night and awake happy and hopeful in the morning.